Rough roads

22. May, 2017

This road began in January 1999 -

I've climbed, I've fallen, I've cursed, denied

I used every coping strategy I had in my pack and eventually I cried

It was then I knew

with certainty 

I could no longer make it

 

I had lost my independence and I was no longer strong

I thought positive thinking would beat it but I was so wrong

My life of work had to end

I could no longer bend

without breaking

 

Dont get me wrong I grieved the loss

For such a long time I had been 'the boss'

I really thought that I was needed

that my years of advice would be heeded

but

I watched my work crumble and fall

what I had valued not valued at all

 

Three years have passed and a bolt from the blue

made me realise I didnt know what I knew

If I had not got sick and felt so rotten

I would still be doing that so easily forgotten

instead being ill has forced me to learn

challenged my comfort forced a life turn

Never thought I would say it but I really am glad

being ill brought opportunities I would never have had

 

I would never  seriously seek  years of pain

but when it comes it can really bring gain

I have learned a new me down this rough mountain road

we'd have missed meeting each other without the pain load.

 

 

 

If you walk  the safe roads all of your life

no doubt you will avoid a shitload of strife

The rough and risky roads where you  will scratch your knee

reach you and teach you, expand and extend who you are and can be.